Finding your soul mate is something each person dreams about at an early age. Your soulmate is that one person that believes in you inspires you to become a better person, accepts you for who you are and is with you forever.  Relationships, in the beginning, start with many artificial factors such as lust, looks, physical attraction and intimacy without expectations. Physical attraction is pure and human nature. Everyone has that look that catches their eye, and this attraction makes it much easier to assume the “I just want to smash” attitude. Emotional attraction deals with feelings, pleasure, joy, and gratification. This attraction sounds delightful and not far-fetched until it’s one-sided or seems unrealistic. But, if you are at a point in your life where you are ready to lay your promiscuous, self-indulgent lifestyle to rest to find your soul mate, then I have a few ways that can help you out.

Become Friends

Your soul mate is your best friend. Although the physical attraction is massive, ignore what the small person on your left shoulder is implying and build a friendship. Creating a bond will allow you to learn this person likes and dislikes. It will also let you figure out what you don’t like about each other. Go to the movies, all you eat buffets, sporting events as friends, talk about other males and females. These conversations will give you some insight on how each other respect others without stipulations or consequences of hurting someone’s feelings in a relationship. We all know friends speak freely around each other regardless of how the other feels.

Avoid Sex As long as possible

This task may be hard for some individuals, but you should avoid sex for as long as you can. Avoiding sex with this prospect doesn’t mean you should have sex with a friend with benefits or ex. We all know that once sex is involved; you are now emotionally involved. If you are having sex with an ex, then you are not giving 100 percent to the possibility of finding your soul mate. If you are having sex with the prospect, then your judgment is usually cloudy, and you are unable to make conscious decisions. Every human being knows that great sex can make you do some stupid, absurd things. So the key here is to invest in toys or plenty of lotion.

Don’t Let Your Representative Show Up

Be who you are. When there is a possibility that this relationship may lead to more than friends; they allow their representative to show up. If you know something annoys you then speak on it. If you enjoy dressing up and clubbing with your friends, continue dressing up and clubbing. If you hang out every Friday night with your boys, then keep it going. Initially, people are so caught up in the lust phase that their representative shows up and takes over. Six months down the road when this phase wears off and now you want to go out; the other person asks “when did you start going out?” Little do they know, you had been doing this for eight years before meeting them, but now you’ve let your representative show them otherwise. Contrary to popular beliefs, if your partner gets that 2:30 am phone call that says “I’m on the way and be ready,” they won’t have any concerns or trust issues about you going out and having a good time with friends.

Compromise

Each person should allow the other to meet their needs together. In any relationship, individuals cannot be selfish. We also must remember that we are not looking Mr. Good Enough; I’m not saying give everything or too much to make it work but provide enough. Compromising falls into the same category of allowing our representative to show up. It is crucial that the compromises made don’t shake up your core values or foundation. The importance of this matter is Don’t Give up Too Much but get rid of the selfishness. At this point, everything is for the betterment of each and the relationship. If this is indeed your soul mate, he or she will never ask to compromise and give up anything that is near and dear to you such as friendships, career goals, relationships with family or your core values and beliefs.

Communicate

If your partner is genuinely your friend then communicating will never get old or boring. You find yourself talking about things you would have never discussed with any of your previous partners. Years down the road, you’ll be talking on the phone for hours, calling each other on the way to work or home when you know you about to see each other in 20 minutes. No relationship will go without disagreements; it is essential to talk about it ASAP. Don’t walk around the house thinking; I can go two weeks without talking to him or her. That small problem goes unsolved, swept under the rug and escalates. No matter how uncomfortable you feel, bring the issue to the forefront and handle it head-on. It won’t be easy, and all conversation won’t be peachy, but it is necessary. Communication builds trust and friendship.

 

You must do something uncomfortable. Step out of your box. This process will not be easy, and your soul mate may not be the first or second person you attempt these substantial steps with. The key isn’t to look for that love at first sight, it’s searching for a friend first. Find that person that fills your soul with laughter, happiness, and love. Love and laughter is the cure for all circumstances.